The election is over. The key question now is whether or not we will be any better off with the newly elected, and re-elected, politicians. Time will tell, but if last week is any indication, we may be better off moving to another country, like Miami.
Case in point. The Lee County Commission has two new members, if you consider Frank Mann, Sr. new. This guy has been around the track more times than Jeff Gordon. He was elected to the Florida House of Representatives, the Florida Senate and became a Lieutenant Governor candidate in 1986 following an unsuccessful run for Governor. He was also appointed to the Lee County Commission a few years ago, but was defeated in a subsequent election. When it comes to winning elections, Mann’s motto is “I think I can, I think I can”.
Most people are not aware that Frank Mann actually ran for President. It’s true. He ran against Calvin Coolidge. And now he’s back as an elected official. What will he bring to the County Commission? Who knows, but if I were to hazard a guess, I would say it would have something to do with Medicare.
The second new kid on the block is Brian Bigelow. If his last name sounds familiar, it should. His father, Charlie Bigelow, was elected to the County Commission a few years back. Charlie was given the name Chainsaw Charlie because he represented a developer who was notorious for cutting down mangroves, which is slightly illegal. Chainsaw was also famous for being arrested by the IRS. I believe he failed to file a couple of tax returns. Can’t imagine why the IRS would have a problem with that. Seems a bit like nit picking to me.
What do Charlie’s transgressions have to do with his son? Absolutely nothing, but Bigelow’s opponent, “Do Nothing” Doug St. Cerny, tried to make the connection. It failed, giving us the opportunity to say to St. Cerny, “See ya Dougie. We weren’t glad we met ya”.
Brian Bigelow made a big splash at his first meeting, actually making the County Commission meet longer than its normal 15 minutes. Believe it or not, he asked questions and initiated dialogue, something that is new to the veteran commissioners. That prompted some Commissioners to opine that, although the discussion was helpful, they “expected” meetings to be more efficient in the future. Efficient means no discussion, just 5 ayes and 0 nays so they can get out of there very quickly and do whatever it is they do for approximately $80,000 per year.
An interesting comment was attributed to Michael “Wrong Man” Reitmann, President of the Lee Building Industry Association. “I can appreciate a new commissioner coming in to look at the issues, but I don’t think the first day was the appropriate time to bring these things up. There’s a process in place. I hope this is a one-time event”.
Now, one might not think those comments reveal anything, except when one considers that Bigelow is a former planner and big on protecting the environment, and “Wrong Man” represents the building industry. Get it? This is a classic example of builders versus a County Commissioner who wants responsible growth.
I have two questions for “Wrong Man”. When is the appropriate time to bring up issues that affect the public? And, what process is in place for doing so? Inquiring minds want to know.
The most telling comment, however, came from somebody who should be doing something other than being a County Commissioner, Tammy Hall. According to the Snooze Press, Hall stated that the meeting could have been about an hour shorter. She said “she was looking forward to getting back to sleep because she had a cold”. Getting back to sleep? Was she ever awake?
The fireworks are set up and ready to go. Anyone have a match?
PAGE TWO
There’s good news and bad news about the new disease my medical experts have uncovered in Southwest Florida. The good news is that it afflicts only elected officials. That’s also the bad news. My experts call it “sycophantitis”. Symptoms include relegating all thought processes to the un-elected, appointed, overpaid bureaucrats whose only concern is perpetuating their existence. Once inflicted, elected officials refuse to criticize those bureaucrats and fail to exercise their oversight function, in effect rubber-stamping everything the bureaucrats want. The elected officials then circle the wagons, defending the bureaucrats against attacks from the outside, aka, the citizens who pay the bills.
Fittingly enough, the origination of the disease was traced to the Board members for the Lee Memorial Health System. Who knows where the Board members caught it from, but there’s a lot of bad stuff going around. The disease quickly spread to the Lee County School Board, the County Commission and finally, to the Cape Coral City Council.
Some elected officials are immune to the disease. Those elected officials, if they are in the minority on the Boards, Commissions or Councils to which they were elected, are relentlessly attacked by the inflicted majority. The bureaucrats invariably instigate these attacks by taking advantage of the diminished capacities of the affected elected officials.
Fortunately, there is a cure. It is called election day, where citizens can purge the afflicted officials from the various elected bodies by voting them out of office. Problems surface when the electorate becomes afflicted with another, even more terrifying illness, “Brainfry”. Symptoms include apathy toward the voting process in addition to the inability to effectively discern the good candidates from the bad.
Is it a hopeless cause? Absolutely. I suggest that those citizens who are free of illness go out into their back yards and dig a hole. Then they should just sit in their respective holes until the end of the world. Don’t worry. With George Bush as President, that will be sooner than you think. Good luck.
PAGE THREE
My heartbeat rapidly increased and I nearly jumped for joy as I caught a glimpse of page one of the Local and State section of the Sunday, November 26, 2006 Snooze Press and read the blurb, “Cook Out”. I immediately thought the powers that be at the Snooze Press finally came to their senses and banished Cook, once and for all time, to the “Island of Misfit Boys”. My joy was short lived however when I realized that the blurb was merely informing readers of a reprieve from Sam’s spam until Wednesday, November 29th. Bummer…major bummer.
PAGE FOUR
Many of you are probably wondering why I did not mention my favorite politicians in this post, the members of the Cape Coral City Council. Not to worry. Stay tuned.
And now, emails from readers.
Dear Paco,
What would you say to Mayor Feichthaler since he blamed former Charter School Administrator Patrick Mark for the troubles facing Cape Coral’s Municipal Charter Schools?
P.M.
Dear P.M.
Look in the mirror.
Dear Paco,
What’s the best thing about Jeff Kottkamp being elected Lieutenant Governor?
C.C.
Dear C.C.,
His political career is over.
Dear Paco,
Do you think Mickey Rosado is guilty of anything?
Mrs. M.R.
Dear Mrs. M.R.,
He’s guilty of stating the obvious: Cape Coral City Manager Terry Stewart must go.
Guilty or innocent, you heard it through The Capevine.
Case in point. The Lee County Commission has two new members, if you consider Frank Mann, Sr. new. This guy has been around the track more times than Jeff Gordon. He was elected to the Florida House of Representatives, the Florida Senate and became a Lieutenant Governor candidate in 1986 following an unsuccessful run for Governor. He was also appointed to the Lee County Commission a few years ago, but was defeated in a subsequent election. When it comes to winning elections, Mann’s motto is “I think I can, I think I can”.
Most people are not aware that Frank Mann actually ran for President. It’s true. He ran against Calvin Coolidge. And now he’s back as an elected official. What will he bring to the County Commission? Who knows, but if I were to hazard a guess, I would say it would have something to do with Medicare.
The second new kid on the block is Brian Bigelow. If his last name sounds familiar, it should. His father, Charlie Bigelow, was elected to the County Commission a few years back. Charlie was given the name Chainsaw Charlie because he represented a developer who was notorious for cutting down mangroves, which is slightly illegal. Chainsaw was also famous for being arrested by the IRS. I believe he failed to file a couple of tax returns. Can’t imagine why the IRS would have a problem with that. Seems a bit like nit picking to me.
What do Charlie’s transgressions have to do with his son? Absolutely nothing, but Bigelow’s opponent, “Do Nothing” Doug St. Cerny, tried to make the connection. It failed, giving us the opportunity to say to St. Cerny, “See ya Dougie. We weren’t glad we met ya”.
Brian Bigelow made a big splash at his first meeting, actually making the County Commission meet longer than its normal 15 minutes. Believe it or not, he asked questions and initiated dialogue, something that is new to the veteran commissioners. That prompted some Commissioners to opine that, although the discussion was helpful, they “expected” meetings to be more efficient in the future. Efficient means no discussion, just 5 ayes and 0 nays so they can get out of there very quickly and do whatever it is they do for approximately $80,000 per year.
An interesting comment was attributed to Michael “Wrong Man” Reitmann, President of the Lee Building Industry Association. “I can appreciate a new commissioner coming in to look at the issues, but I don’t think the first day was the appropriate time to bring these things up. There’s a process in place. I hope this is a one-time event”.
Now, one might not think those comments reveal anything, except when one considers that Bigelow is a former planner and big on protecting the environment, and “Wrong Man” represents the building industry. Get it? This is a classic example of builders versus a County Commissioner who wants responsible growth.
I have two questions for “Wrong Man”. When is the appropriate time to bring up issues that affect the public? And, what process is in place for doing so? Inquiring minds want to know.
The most telling comment, however, came from somebody who should be doing something other than being a County Commissioner, Tammy Hall. According to the Snooze Press, Hall stated that the meeting could have been about an hour shorter. She said “she was looking forward to getting back to sleep because she had a cold”. Getting back to sleep? Was she ever awake?
The fireworks are set up and ready to go. Anyone have a match?
PAGE TWO
There’s good news and bad news about the new disease my medical experts have uncovered in Southwest Florida. The good news is that it afflicts only elected officials. That’s also the bad news. My experts call it “sycophantitis”. Symptoms include relegating all thought processes to the un-elected, appointed, overpaid bureaucrats whose only concern is perpetuating their existence. Once inflicted, elected officials refuse to criticize those bureaucrats and fail to exercise their oversight function, in effect rubber-stamping everything the bureaucrats want. The elected officials then circle the wagons, defending the bureaucrats against attacks from the outside, aka, the citizens who pay the bills.
Fittingly enough, the origination of the disease was traced to the Board members for the Lee Memorial Health System. Who knows where the Board members caught it from, but there’s a lot of bad stuff going around. The disease quickly spread to the Lee County School Board, the County Commission and finally, to the Cape Coral City Council.
Some elected officials are immune to the disease. Those elected officials, if they are in the minority on the Boards, Commissions or Councils to which they were elected, are relentlessly attacked by the inflicted majority. The bureaucrats invariably instigate these attacks by taking advantage of the diminished capacities of the affected elected officials.
Fortunately, there is a cure. It is called election day, where citizens can purge the afflicted officials from the various elected bodies by voting them out of office. Problems surface when the electorate becomes afflicted with another, even more terrifying illness, “Brainfry”. Symptoms include apathy toward the voting process in addition to the inability to effectively discern the good candidates from the bad.
Is it a hopeless cause? Absolutely. I suggest that those citizens who are free of illness go out into their back yards and dig a hole. Then they should just sit in their respective holes until the end of the world. Don’t worry. With George Bush as President, that will be sooner than you think. Good luck.
PAGE THREE
My heartbeat rapidly increased and I nearly jumped for joy as I caught a glimpse of page one of the Local and State section of the Sunday, November 26, 2006 Snooze Press and read the blurb, “Cook Out”. I immediately thought the powers that be at the Snooze Press finally came to their senses and banished Cook, once and for all time, to the “Island of Misfit Boys”. My joy was short lived however when I realized that the blurb was merely informing readers of a reprieve from Sam’s spam until Wednesday, November 29th. Bummer…major bummer.
PAGE FOUR
Many of you are probably wondering why I did not mention my favorite politicians in this post, the members of the Cape Coral City Council. Not to worry. Stay tuned.
And now, emails from readers.
Dear Paco,
What would you say to Mayor Feichthaler since he blamed former Charter School Administrator Patrick Mark for the troubles facing Cape Coral’s Municipal Charter Schools?
P.M.
Dear P.M.
Look in the mirror.
Dear Paco,
What’s the best thing about Jeff Kottkamp being elected Lieutenant Governor?
C.C.
Dear C.C.,
His political career is over.
Dear Paco,
Do you think Mickey Rosado is guilty of anything?
Mrs. M.R.
Dear Mrs. M.R.,
He’s guilty of stating the obvious: Cape Coral City Manager Terry Stewart must go.
Guilty or innocent, you heard it through The Capevine.
