Well, I’m back. Did you miss me? Of course you did. People always miss those who make a favorable impression.
After reading about Jim “Brouhaha” Browder’s decision to prohibit the Fort Myers High School Band from traveling to England, and the resulting uproar over his decision, I decided to check out the risks myself. Therefore, I booked a flight to London and have been there for the past six weeks.
I must admit, Brouhaha was right. It is indeed risky to travel to England. I was almost run off the road several times by reckless drivers who don’t want to obey simple traffic laws and make obscene gestures for apparently no reason. Furthermore, I was robbed twice, convincing me all the more that the trip was too risky for high school students. And all that took place before I even got out of Fort Myers. However, once I got inside the relative safety (?) of the terminal at the Southwest Florida Regional Airport, I felt much better about my trip.
England is a charming place and I’m sure the band students will have a marvelous time. Everybody was very friendly and I felt secure at all times. I almost regretted having to return, but I know my faithful readers are probably having withdrawal pangs from not having heard from me for a couple of months, especially Ralphie “The Rant” LePera.
And what do I find when I return…an investigation, by the Feds no less, into the water and sewer expansion. What I don’t quite understand is why the Uncivilized Association is not jumping all over this one. After all, the unholy ones have been demanding an audit for years. And now that there might be evidence of some hanky panky…silence. What gives?
One would think that Alex “Lippy” LePera would be demanding someone’s head, since she is married to one of the people who has been insisting that an audit take place. The only logical explanation to her lack of attack is that she has been brainwashed by Terry “Tight Lips” Stewart into doing his bidding. Speaking of Tight Lips, true to his nickname, notice that he isn’t saying too much about this audit. Smart move. Whenever the Feds start snooping around, that can’t be good. The less said the better. Trust me on that one. I have had some dealings with them myself.
What I’m really enjoying is what some of the less knowledgeable among the masses are saying about how this audit came about. Some believe it is the work of a disgruntled individual who leaked something to the FBI. Get real. With what I know about the Feds, it takes more than a disgruntled person to get them off their duffs. They must really have something or they wouldn’t be wasting their time. Calling in the Feds must be a direct result of what the outside auditor found. If I’m not mistaken, he must report any potential violations of the law. Therefore, he probably found something that didn’t look right, notified the City and then “de law” was called in.
What’s even more puzzling is why some Council members initially said they didn’t know about an investigation, while others freely admitted it. Were they trying to divert attention away from the investigation? Come on guys. Surely you knew that the press would find out that you knew what was going on. Tsk, tsk.
So far, there is no indication that the Feds are looking into any criminal wrongdoing on the part of the City or individuals within the administration. However, somebody had to be asleep at the switch at City Hall. Isn’t there some kind of monitoring going on to ensure that everything is “dunky hory” or did the administration just give the contractors free rein to run amok? Another tsk, tsk.
Anyway, this should add fuel to Tim “Make My” Day’s assault on “Tight Lips”. After all, he suggested the discussion about Stewart’s raise and contract extension be postponed until after the audit results were in. Wait a minute! HOLD THE PHONE!!! Did the Council know about the investigation before they voted on Stewart’s raise? If that’s the case, Day’s recommendation to postpone the evaluation now makes perfectly good sense. If the Council members who voted for Stewart’s raise knew about the potential problems, won’t they look pretty foolish if it is revealed that somebody in the administration, under the supervision of ole Tight Lips himself, screwed up? Wee doggies! Stay tuned. This gets better all the time.
PAGE TWO
Many of you have questioned my nickname for my good friend Ralphie “The Rant” LePera. You wonder where “The Rant” came from. Rather than tell you why I nicknamed him “The Rant”, I thought I should provide you with the real thing. Therefore, I decided to include a segment in my postings called “Ralphie’s Rants”. I will publish his own words, unedited. Therefore, you can make up your own minds as to whether or not the nickname is appropriate.
Ralphie’s Rants-Part One
The first one comes from “Your Community, By You, For You”, an online community forum available on the Snooze Press website. It was posted on May 18, 2006.
“A$four decided not to run for re-election last year (I guess Bertolini scared him off) and let's also remember, A$four was never elected to office in the first place. No one ever voted for this person. He was unopposed in 2000, he never had to campaign or spend any money other than his filing fee. I think former Mayor Kempe could have done some good things for this city had it not been for some of the things A$four pulled in opposition. Let's also remember that A$four voted against increasing Impact Fees and in the absence of adequate impact fees we have higher taxes. Ralph LePera CCCA
First of all, Ralphie, you must admit that Bertolini can be a pretty scary person. Therefore, can you blame Asfour for not wanting to tangle with her? Come to think of it, I’d wager that you wouldn’t want to tangle with her either. I must admit, however, that it would be fun to watch her clean the floor with you.
Second, you might want to report Asfour and City officials who participated in his election scam to the authorities. If he was not elected, that implies that something was done improperly. Did he take a gun to City Hall and demand the seat? If so, that might be considered a felony in some jurisdictions. Check it out.
Third, I’m sure Asfour wished he was as powerful as you portray him to be. To think that he singled-handedly stopped Kempe from doing “good things for this city”. Wow, Superman lives.
And finally, I do recall some of those impact fees votes. If memory serves me correctly, you are accurate in that Asfour voted against impact fees on every occasion. What you might not remember, however, is that he lost every time. Therefore, impact fees were increased in spite of his opposition.
After reading about Jim “Brouhaha” Browder’s decision to prohibit the Fort Myers High School Band from traveling to England, and the resulting uproar over his decision, I decided to check out the risks myself. Therefore, I booked a flight to London and have been there for the past six weeks.
I must admit, Brouhaha was right. It is indeed risky to travel to England. I was almost run off the road several times by reckless drivers who don’t want to obey simple traffic laws and make obscene gestures for apparently no reason. Furthermore, I was robbed twice, convincing me all the more that the trip was too risky for high school students. And all that took place before I even got out of Fort Myers. However, once I got inside the relative safety (?) of the terminal at the Southwest Florida Regional Airport, I felt much better about my trip.
England is a charming place and I’m sure the band students will have a marvelous time. Everybody was very friendly and I felt secure at all times. I almost regretted having to return, but I know my faithful readers are probably having withdrawal pangs from not having heard from me for a couple of months, especially Ralphie “The Rant” LePera.
And what do I find when I return…an investigation, by the Feds no less, into the water and sewer expansion. What I don’t quite understand is why the Uncivilized Association is not jumping all over this one. After all, the unholy ones have been demanding an audit for years. And now that there might be evidence of some hanky panky…silence. What gives?
One would think that Alex “Lippy” LePera would be demanding someone’s head, since she is married to one of the people who has been insisting that an audit take place. The only logical explanation to her lack of attack is that she has been brainwashed by Terry “Tight Lips” Stewart into doing his bidding. Speaking of Tight Lips, true to his nickname, notice that he isn’t saying too much about this audit. Smart move. Whenever the Feds start snooping around, that can’t be good. The less said the better. Trust me on that one. I have had some dealings with them myself.
What I’m really enjoying is what some of the less knowledgeable among the masses are saying about how this audit came about. Some believe it is the work of a disgruntled individual who leaked something to the FBI. Get real. With what I know about the Feds, it takes more than a disgruntled person to get them off their duffs. They must really have something or they wouldn’t be wasting their time. Calling in the Feds must be a direct result of what the outside auditor found. If I’m not mistaken, he must report any potential violations of the law. Therefore, he probably found something that didn’t look right, notified the City and then “de law” was called in.
What’s even more puzzling is why some Council members initially said they didn’t know about an investigation, while others freely admitted it. Were they trying to divert attention away from the investigation? Come on guys. Surely you knew that the press would find out that you knew what was going on. Tsk, tsk.
So far, there is no indication that the Feds are looking into any criminal wrongdoing on the part of the City or individuals within the administration. However, somebody had to be asleep at the switch at City Hall. Isn’t there some kind of monitoring going on to ensure that everything is “dunky hory” or did the administration just give the contractors free rein to run amok? Another tsk, tsk.
Anyway, this should add fuel to Tim “Make My” Day’s assault on “Tight Lips”. After all, he suggested the discussion about Stewart’s raise and contract extension be postponed until after the audit results were in. Wait a minute! HOLD THE PHONE!!! Did the Council know about the investigation before they voted on Stewart’s raise? If that’s the case, Day’s recommendation to postpone the evaluation now makes perfectly good sense. If the Council members who voted for Stewart’s raise knew about the potential problems, won’t they look pretty foolish if it is revealed that somebody in the administration, under the supervision of ole Tight Lips himself, screwed up? Wee doggies! Stay tuned. This gets better all the time.
PAGE TWO
Many of you have questioned my nickname for my good friend Ralphie “The Rant” LePera. You wonder where “The Rant” came from. Rather than tell you why I nicknamed him “The Rant”, I thought I should provide you with the real thing. Therefore, I decided to include a segment in my postings called “Ralphie’s Rants”. I will publish his own words, unedited. Therefore, you can make up your own minds as to whether or not the nickname is appropriate.
Ralphie’s Rants-Part One
The first one comes from “Your Community, By You, For You”, an online community forum available on the Snooze Press website. It was posted on May 18, 2006.
“A$four decided not to run for re-election last year (I guess Bertolini scared him off) and let's also remember, A$four was never elected to office in the first place. No one ever voted for this person. He was unopposed in 2000, he never had to campaign or spend any money other than his filing fee. I think former Mayor Kempe could have done some good things for this city had it not been for some of the things A$four pulled in opposition. Let's also remember that A$four voted against increasing Impact Fees and in the absence of adequate impact fees we have higher taxes. Ralph LePera CCCA
First of all, Ralphie, you must admit that Bertolini can be a pretty scary person. Therefore, can you blame Asfour for not wanting to tangle with her? Come to think of it, I’d wager that you wouldn’t want to tangle with her either. I must admit, however, that it would be fun to watch her clean the floor with you.
Second, you might want to report Asfour and City officials who participated in his election scam to the authorities. If he was not elected, that implies that something was done improperly. Did he take a gun to City Hall and demand the seat? If so, that might be considered a felony in some jurisdictions. Check it out.
Third, I’m sure Asfour wished he was as powerful as you portray him to be. To think that he singled-handedly stopped Kempe from doing “good things for this city”. Wow, Superman lives.
And finally, I do recall some of those impact fees votes. If memory serves me correctly, you are accurate in that Asfour voted against impact fees on every occasion. What you might not remember, however, is that he lost every time. Therefore, impact fees were increased in spite of his opposition.
Send me an email and let me know what you think about my new segment.
And now, emails from readers.
Dear Paco,
Are you ever going to reveal who you are?
R.L.
Dear R.L.
I already have.
Revelations aside, you heard it through the Capevine.
Dear Paco,
Are you ever going to reveal who you are?
R.L.
Dear R.L.
I already have.
Revelations aside, you heard it through the Capevine.
